5 Easy Steps to Make a Bottle Holder From a Single Piece of String

This brief tutorial is based on my recent wanderings around the hills of Northern Italy.  It was dusk as I began my several hour walk and about half-way to my destination a cloud rolled in, covering the path and helping me to get lost for an extra hour.  Luckily, I had a nice chilled bottle of white wine to refresh my body and spirits.

While wandering these paths, I realize that I could do with a nice wine pouch or sling, so that I did not need to keep putting the bottle in and out of my backpack.  Finding a nice strong length of string (about three feet long), I worked out a way to create a simple wine sling to serve me for the day. The following five steps are a quick “How To.”

(1)Have a bottle of wine / be on a mountain path

(2) Take a length of string, approximately three feet long.  Near the middle of the string, tie two slip knots into the string about 3 centimeters apart from each other.  Ensure that you tie the knots so that each one can be tightened by pulling on the string end leading away from it — this is important because it means that tension in the string makes it grip the bottle more tightly.

(3) Tie a square knot to link the two free ends of the string together.

(4) Loop each slip knot over the top of the bottle (below the upper lip) and tighten.

(5) Sling the string over your shoulder or neck and get hiking. Stop for a gulp as needed.

Wine-ding Ride

On the steep terraced slopes of Northern Italy’s wine country, you can find many of these long, winding, rack and pinion tracks running up the steep hills.

It was not the right season when I was there, but I understand that these are used to haul grapes up the steep inclines during the harvest.

Load up the cart, hop on the seat and drive to the top!

It must be pretty fun the first time you try it, but I do wonder a few things:

(1) Assuming you clear the path of bushes and brambles, why do you need a driver? Could you not just have a remote control to start and stop the cart?

(2) If you must have a driver seated on the cart, do you think that installing a seat-belt is out of the question?

Part wine-making + part roller-coaster – what could be more fun?

The Real Green

At a wine shop the other day I saw this sticker on one of the bottles.

Is this brand simply trying to surf the green wave like everyone else?  Perhaps not.

The concept is subtle, but what they are touting is just that their product will allow you to “feel green.”

That is, they know that the main reason that “being green” is so popular is not because it saves the planet, but because it makes people feel good about themselves. This company is simply ending the charade and telling you to buy this product not for what it does for the planet, but rather for what it does to save your self-esteem.

Alternate interpretation: As this was a bottle of alcohol, perhaps I was reading too far into the sticker. Perhaps all it means is that if you drink this, you will start to feel like you may vomit.